Sometimes I feel like all I do is fail. Do you ever feel like that? Do all women feel like that? I hear about other women working outside the home and I think wow, they must really have it together, to be able to take care of their home and families and still go to work and use their brains for organizing, for taking care of a sick person, for adding numbers, making phone calls, running a business, etc. It seems like I can barely remember the date most days. Even friends who stay at home seem like they can manage it all. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, emails, kids, errands, and they get all done and even make time to exercise and volunteer! I'm a stay at Mom, and I'm busy, and it's a full time job and blah, blah but you know what I don't do a very good job at it. I set these goals in my head, I'm going to clean on a schedule, I'm going to stick to this diet, I'm going exercise x amount of days of the week, I'm going to play with my children more, be a more loving, patient Mother, and so on. But I never follow through for more then a few days, then I get so frustrated with myself. I compare myself to other women, I put myself down, I throw the towel in and think, "I'm never going to succeed." It frustrates the living daylights out of my husband. I've always struggled with my self-esteem, since I can remember. I'm not sure what really brought it on for me to be honest, it's just always been there. So how do I stop comparing and stop putting myself down and just start doing it? I went to a concert yesterday afternoon and watched this amazing women use her gift to touch an entire church full of people, most whom she had never met before. She came from such adversity and rose to super stardom in her home country and then she gave it all up to come here to the United States and restart her life. She was filled with the Holy Spirit as she sang, and I thought to myself, I want to be like that. There I go again, wanting to be someone other then myself, but maybe instead of trying to be her I can look to her for inspiration. After all she is doing this tour to touch people, to share her gift with others and spread the story of our Lord Jesus Christ. Maybe I can take away a small part of what touched me the most which was her genuine belief in and devotion to God and make it a part of me. Maybe by making that small part of her a part of me it will spread to the other areas of my life and I will start succeeding little by little. Most of the time I want to do it all and do it all perfectly or I just don't bother, maybe it's time for me to take it one small step at a time. Maybe if I set my sights on Him, through which all things are possible, I can manage to change my life for the better. So instead of focusing on giving up something for Lent I'm going to focus on having self-discipline and living my life the way I really want to live it. The way He really wants me to live my life.